First of all, Estella's realization comes from the time she and her adoptive mother get into a fight. It began when the two of them were sitting next to each other with their hands intertwined when Estella lets go of Miss Havisham's hand. Miss Havisham is suddenly taken aback and thinks that Estella might be sick of her. They keep on arguing and soon Estella soon realizes that Miss Havisham never gave her any love. Instead all Miss Havisham did was force Estella to seek revenge on all males because of a bad event in her past. She is ruining her adoptive daughters life for her own silly reason. Estella realizes that she shouldn't be this way to men and that she shouldn't have put up with this nonsense for so long.
Pip also has a similar realization. He first realizes it when he finds out that the convict is his benefactor. He is shocked and not at all happy with it. He expected it to be Miss Havisham all along and thought that that would help him be with Estella. However now that its not her, he realizes that he gets no reward. He also feels terribly for Joe. When Pip really thinks about it he betrayed Joe, and it turned out to be only for the convict. It started in the beginning of the book when the convict gets Pip to steal from Joe. Then it happened again when Pip leaves due to the fortune the convict gives him. He feels horrible and feels as if he lost someone really close to him for no good reason.
